I saw a blog of a remote-but-felt-dear friend of mine about how we ought to express our regret and apology. Then I felt tempted to write few lines of my own thoughts.
Apology doesn’t stop at sorry. That’s what he talked about in his blog.
See, I agree to this statement whole-heartedly. However, my friend pinpoints the fact that we should make greater efforts to show our remorse. I look at this from a slightly different point of view.
Remember when we were little, and we would accidentally hit a kid on the playground? Our teachers would tell us: Say you’re sorry. And we would say it, but we wouldn’t mean it. But, as we get older, making amends isn’t so simple. As people, we make mistakes everyday. It’s inevitable and sometimes it’s tragic. We try to do things right and do the right things, doing whatever we can to avoid making mistakes. Thing is, we will always end up making some. And we should be grateful because we are still allowed to learn from them. We can’t undo our mistakes, and unfortunately, we rarely forgive ourselves for them. It’s a hazard of the trade. But, as human beings we can always try to do better. To be better. To right a wrong. To make it up to the wronged. Even when it feels irreversible. Even when it feels final.
Let me tell you, I’m sorry doesn’t always cut it. As we get older, you can’t just say it. You have to mean it. We are so used to the illusion that I’m sorry can erase all our mistakes. It doesn’t. We say I’m sorry in so many different ways. Sometimes, as a weapon. Most of the times, as an excuse. It’s all for the wrong reasons, and therefore, it means nothing. You saying sorry is NOTHING.
But, when we are really sorry, when we use it right, when we mean it, when our actions say what words never can, when we live up to it, when we get it right, I’m sorry is perfect. When we get it right, I’m sorry is redemption. It frees you, it gives you a new space to breathe in, it gives you the second chance. To do better. To be better. To right a wrong. To make it up to the wronged.
Use the word right, and you won’t have to live with the guilt.